Last revised: May 5, 2025

By choosing to interact with this website (hereafter referred to as “the Site”), you are consenting to the terms articulated below. If you find them disagreeable, the solution is elegantly simple: discontinue your use of the Site.

Let’s proceed in something approximating logical order.

I. Personal Identification Information

Yes, we collect it. No, we don’t want your blood type. On occasion, you may be asked to supply your name, email, or other modest identifiers—typically when you subscribe, inquire, or otherwise engage with the Site.

You may decline to provide such information. That is your right, and I commend your discretion.

II. Non-Personal Identification Information

Before you clutch your pearls: yes, we also gather non-personal data. Browser version. Operating system. ISP. Technical details. If that alarms you, you might be better off mailing your correspondence via carrier pigeon. In this digital age, such data is standard fare and helps the Site not collapse in a heap of malfunction.

III. Cookies (No, Not the Edible Kind)

Our Site may deploy cookies—those digital morsels stored on your device to remember you exist. They help tailor your experience and ensure the Site doesn’t treat each of your visits like a first date.

You may instruct your browser to reject cookies. Be forewarned: doing so may cause parts of the Site to act with the charm and functionality of a malfunctioning fax machine.

IV. What We Actually Do With Your Information

We don’t collect information for sport. We use it to make things work better, send communications (not spam), and yes, improve the Site’s performance—because we still value functioning websites around here. Occasionally, we’ll email you. Every email has an “unsubscribe” option, should you grow weary of our correspondence.

V. Safeguarding Your Data

We are neither reckless nor lazy. Encryption, secure transmission, sensible storage—these are not exotic novelties, but standard expectations we uphold. We treat your data with more care than some of you treat your own passwords.

VI. Sharing (Or Rather, Not Sharing) Your Personal Information

We do not—I repeat, not—sell, rent, or trade your personal information. The idea alone is vulgar. We may share generic, aggregated demographic data with reputable affiliates, provided it cannot be traced back to you.

Should we enlist third-party services to assist in operations (an inevitability in this day and age), such parties are only granted access to your information with your implied or explicit permission and only to perform narrowly defined tasks. We’re not flinging your details into the wind.

VII. Links to Other Websites (Proceed with Caution)

The Site may contain links to third-party websites. Clicking them is your prerogative. What you find there—be it enlightenment or malware—is their responsibility, not ours. We disclaim control and liability for such domains, as any sensible operator should.

VIII. Advertising (Because Someone Has to Pay the Bills)

Third-party ad partners may serve ads on this Site, and yes, they may set cookies to tailor those ads to your presumed interests. They do not have access to your soul—only your device ID and behavior patterns. If this offends you, disable cookies or invest in a good ad blocker.

IX. Children’s Privacy

We do not, knowingly or otherwise, collect data from children under the age of 13 years old. If a minor sneaks through and submits personal information, we will delete it the moment we become aware—faster than you can say “COPPA violation.”

X. Changes to This Policy

Policies evolve. Laws change. Code breaks. When we update this document (and we will, from time to time), we will revise the date above. Continued use of the Site post-update constitutes acceptance, so do check in occasionally—ideally before launching a complaint.

XI. Acceptance of Terms

Use of the Site signals your agreement to this policy, including all the clarifications and conditions above. If any of this strikes you as unreasonable, your recourse is, again, straightforward: do not use the Site. We are not here to beg for your data—we’re here to operate transparently, lawfully, and with a touch more integrity than your average clickbait factory.